Signs of Trouble
On a scale of 0 through 10, select the number which reflects your sense of how often and/or how strongly each of the following items applies to you. Your answers often will be “some of the time” or “to some extent.” In those cases, select the number which you believe most accurately represents where you are on the scale. (The higher the number, the more that item applies to you.) Enter a check mark beside the appropriate number. When you finish, total the points and write that number at the end of this section before you continue reading.
1. I feel totally alone and/or have an inexplicable sense of dread
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2. I feel uneasy and anxious
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3. My dominant mood is one of unhappiness for long periods of time (a month or more)
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4. I am jealous of my spouse or significant other
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5. I am envious of others’ good fortune, material possessions, relationships
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6. I am often angry at myself and others
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7. I have trouble sleeping
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8. I doubt myself, my abilities, and the validity of my opinions
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9. I am self-conscious, especially in unfamiliar situations
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10. I confide in no one about things that trouble me
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11. When someone asks me how I feel, I don’t know the answer
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12. I relive/think a lot about events in which I felt stupid or inadequate
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13. I beat myself up mentally for mistakes and poor decisions I have made
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14. I feel guilty about a variety of things, including things I can’t control
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15. I blame others for my problems or misfortunes
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16. I fear that others won’t like or accept me
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17. I consider others before considering myself and my needs
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18. I cling to old decisions and don’t make changes in my life, even when I sense that changes are needed
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19. Important factors in my decision-making include the following:
A. Fear (of the unknown, of change, of challenge, of failure, etc.)
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B. What others will think
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C. What others want for themselves or want me to do
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D. A codified, unchanging standard of behavior and values
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E. What I think I should do, not what I want to do
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F. What I think others, whom I admire or want to emulate, would do
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20. It’s important to me to control others (family, co-workers, friends)
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21. I am a perfectionist
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22. I frequently change jobs
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23. I engage in brief, intense (serial) affairs
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24. I abuse and/or am addicted to drugs and/or alcohol
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25. I engage in other addictive behavior (for instance, gambling, eating, shopping/spending, working excessively)
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For an explanation of the significance of these items, see Chapter Eight of It’s Not a Life Sentence.
