Equanimity

What’s your EQ?

Mine was challenged the other day when I discovered that a charge for a service previously cancelled had reappeared on a credit card bill. That wouldn’t have been so bad, but it followed hard on the heels of my discovery that, in an unrelated development, the local trash collector had confiscated my containers for alleged non-payment of my monthly bill.

As they say, no good deed goes unpunished. My theory, yet to be confirmed, about the cause of the latter was that an error occurred when, in my attempt to save the company postage and paper, I had signed up for “Online Bill Pay.” This system would work fine if the company had correctly entered my e-mail address in their system. That, apparently, didn’t happen. I received no bill, they received no payment.

As all the above unfolded, I realized that, while I was far from happy and was, as usual, highly critical of the incompetence of others (is it just me or is it more rampant these days?), I wasn’t ticked off enough to want to take it to the streets. I was, in short, admirably equanimous.

Equanimous. There’s a good word for you. The E in EQ is equanimity, and your EQ is your equanimity quotient. My theory is that it increases as time goes on. There are many reasons for this. For one thing, with experience, you learn that eventually you get things like all the above straightened out sooner or later. And with age, you realize you’ve survived a lot worse.

In a period of less than three months a couple of years ago, I had a computer crash, a sewer line clog, a water line break, and a wreck which totaled my car—all while my husband, terminally ill after a series of surgeries, was hospitalized. After something like that, your perspective changes.

Equanimity is defined as evenness of mind or emotion, especially under stress; composure; calmness, equilibrium. Barack Obama, I think it’s safe to say, is equanimity personified.

In these stressful times, maintaining your equanimity is no easy task. For many of us, there’s much cause for outrage. If you find yourself quick to anger with those near and dear, up your EQ. Take a few deep breaths, identify what it is that really deserves your wrath, calm down, and move on. This may just save some valued relationships. Good luck!