You and the Internet
Taking on a New Role
The title of the book is It’s Not a Life Sentence and, indeed, the missing antecedent to which the it refers truly is not a life sentence. You see, the it is more than an it, referring as it does to the expectations, distractions, beliefs, and self-imposed demands that come between us and our own true selves. We all have the power to make changes in our lives and in our relationship with ourselves by heightening self-awareness and taking control of the way we deal with the past. The premise of the book is that, given this power, we can, if we choose, evolve in ways that result in deep and lasting happiness and a profound sense of well being.
In writing the book, however, I overlooked a very real digital trap which may, in fact, become a life sentence for the unsuspecting and make the process of taking control alarmingly difficult. I speak, of course, of the elusive Internet, that repository of so much easy information (or misinformation, as the case my be), stubborn innuendo, and personal history.
“The fact that the Internet never seems to forget is threatening, at an almost existential level, our ability to control our identities; to preserve the option of reinventing ourselves and starting anew; to overcome our checkered pasts,” reporter Jeffrey Rosen writes in the July 19th edition of The New York Times.
In other words, while you may make profound and lasting changes in yourself, your life, and your behavior, that photo someone posted on the Internet—you half-nude and high as a 747—may repose eternally on the Internet, to be stumbled upon by potential employers, mates, or disappointed parents.
In my book, I write about the various personas we all assume as we fulfill a variety of roles—spouse, parent, caregiver, business person, community volunteer. The list goes on and on. Inevitably, as we function in these diverse settings, we exhibit behaviors we’ve learned are the most effective in those environments.
Rosen also writes about this, but points out that the phenomenon of one individual with “segmented identities,” functioning in ways that may be appropriate in one sphere of our lives but not in others, may be a thing of the past as lives and histories are laid bare and preserved in the digital arena.
Much to consider. Many reasons to be careful out there.
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