Money Matters: More Critical Steps
During times of stress, nothing changes your outlook more quickly than taking action. Unfortunately, it’s all too human to see yourself as the victim of events you can’t control and lapse into helplessness. “I’m too depressed . . .tired . . .confused. . .upset,” you say—and you do nothing.
Typically, we believe we must feel strong in order to act; but the truth is, we must act in order to feel strong. Ironically, taking action—especially when you’re down—jumpstarts your untapped inner vigor.
As I write, our country is in an economic crisis that rivals the Great Depression. All of us—rich, poor, and in between–are buffeted about like so many sailboats in a hurricane. There is truly much we can’t control, and for some, the results are devastating.
But regardless of how you’re affected by the current crisis, you alone control the most vital ingredient of the solution—namely, yourself. You can choose what you think and what you do. And your thoughts and actions can change the way you feel.
There’s a saying, “The only way out is through.” There are no shortcuts, no painless, easy answers. If you’ve lost your job, it’s only natural to feel devalued and angry, but the first step forward is to accept the fact that it’s up to you to find a solution. Turn off your self-censor and start brainstorming.
- Make a list of activities you enjoy, regardless of whether you’ve ever worked at a job that involved those pursuits. Do any of them suggest areas in which you might find work?
- Make a list of all the specific job options that come to mind. Include both short and long-term possibilities. In the short term, it may not be what you want to do, but what you can do that matters.
- Let everyone know you’re in the market for a job. Now isn’t the time to hide out. Word of mouth is a powerful tool. Supplement your search of classified ads, the Internet, and other sources by drawing on your personal contacts.
- Do some research. What kinds of jobs (if any) are opening up in your area?
- Consider retraining. Do local community colleges or university extensions offer programs that would help you prepare for work in a field you find interesting?
- Consider expert help. Depending upon your background and the nature of your work, it might be fruitful to work with a resume writer, job coach, or agency that specializes in job placement in the area of your expertise.
- Finally, set goals and make a plan
The last point is especially important. Research now tells us that pursuing a goal releases dopamine, a chemical in the brain that produces a sense of well-being. That well-being, combined with the sense of control the earlier steps create, will energize and empower you.
One more step: keep yourself focused by setting up a system for tracking your progress. List the steps you’re going to take, give yourself a deadline for taking them, and check them off when done. This will not only help you stay focused, but will give you a sense of accomplishment along the way.
Money Matters: Critical Steps
In my last blog (“Money Matters: Losing Sleep”), I wrote about the importance of getting sufficient sleep when you’re dealing with a crisis. When you’re rested, you’re better able to think clearly, recognize options, set priorities, and make sensible decisions.
A factor in any crisis, financial or otherwise, is the sense that you’ve lost control. Actually, it’s more than a sense; you have lost control. That’s the nature of a crisis, and whether precipitated by job loss, foreclosure, illness, or other unforeseen events, financial crises create enormous stress. You’re dealing not only with the practical how-do-I-survive economic issues, but also with emotional chaos as you interpret the meaning of those events in your life.
The emotional element exacerbates the situation and makes rational thought more problematic. Basic to effective problem solving is an “I’m okay” attitude which will help you keep your balance. Three core elements are involved:
- Remember: You’re the same person you were before this misfortune occurred. You are not, for instance, your house or your job.
- Let yourself off the hook: Yes, you may be culpable in some way. Poor judgment may have caused you to overextend yourself, but at this point guilt will do nothing but get in your way. Accept that “it is what it is” and move on.
- Develop resolve: Decide that you will learn from this event, come to understand how you came to be in this dilemma, and chart a different course for the future.
It isn’t enough just to take those steps in your head. Write them down. Think about them. Turn them into affirmations (positive, self-affirming statements—see below) that you write on note cards and tape to your bathroom mirror. Make them a part of every day.
Here are some sample affirmations for a fictional guy named Ernie:
- I am Ernie—funny, optimistic, outgoing, and one heck of a tennis player
- No matter what happens, I love myself.
- I’m smart and I’m taking control.
Next week’s blog: “More Critical Steps.”
